The Voice of the American Wife

I’ve often struggled with the concept of “voice” in writing, not because I find it hard to hone or convey.  Perspective taking comes rather easy for me.  I suppose it’s from all those years of pretend-play as a child as well as being sensitive to the feelings of others that has made it simple to look at things and/or empathize from many points of view.  The difficulty I find with “voice” is using my own voice.  I’ve been writing most of my life, but I don’t think I’ve written as my true self very often.

We all want acceptance, I imagine, and I am no different.  To let go and release one’s own voice on the world is frightening.  It’s like walking naked through a crowded mall.  Will people laugh (when you don’t want them to) or scoff or, perhaps even worse, ignore you altogether? Furthermore, isn’t all this voice-finding and expression kind of the ultimate in vanity?  I mean, if people weren’t out and about trying to find themselves all the time maybe more problems would get solved, right?  That’s the way I’ve always tended to see things, anyway.

I think I’ve finally come to terms that my voice is just who I am, for better or for worse.  Take me or leave me.  Love me or hate me.  I’m getting to the Age of Honesty when my memory is no longer a reliable partner in perpetuating lies.  No more fronting or posing, pretending to be someone who I am not.  Frankly, I don’t have the energy or time to keep up those appearances, and it’s much easier on the brain to just be me and let the chips fall where they may.  Why couldn’t I have learned this earlier?  Things would have been so simple!

So here I am, endeavoring to blog often about daily life here in American, here as a wife, mom, friend, and citizen.  I ask myself why I should do this.  We all live on a continuum between the mundane and the profound with the majority being on the mundane side.  Even dignitaries and celebrities spend most of their days at that end of the spectrum.  It’s nothing to be ashamed of or depressed about.   It is the backdrop of the mundane that makes the moments of profundity so wonderful.  I am one, simple, American wife.  That is all.  But I can appreciate the mundane and the profound as they make life comfortably predictable as well as magical.   This is what I intend to convey with my one voice, my true self.

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